Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
