Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
only if we run a train.
done.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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