I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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