sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
