Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
