Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Welp...herpes.
she smelled like a LAN party
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
