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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
