Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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