I wanna bring you to show and tell
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
