I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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