You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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