I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
