Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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