I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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