3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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