she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
