i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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