Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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