is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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