Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
