I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the room spins SO much faster in panama
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
