Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
