Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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