Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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