I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
