is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
