I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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