I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need a beard to bite.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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