he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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