I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
