You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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