Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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