there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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