I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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