don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
