Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
