So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
