Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
