I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
