Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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