high people should be assigned attendants
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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