wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize