I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
