Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
