im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize