I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I look better un-naked...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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