so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
