I got chris browned last night
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
