your thong is hanging out like whoa
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
