drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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