I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize