Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
