know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
