my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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