I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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