I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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