And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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