woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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