i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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