I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
