well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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