I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
