"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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