You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
