If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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