I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize