Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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