remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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