We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
