Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
