Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize