"it" just moved
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
