..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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