Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
