'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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