just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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